Bidemi Mark-Mordi Bidemi Mark-Mordi is a 40-year-old publisher, writer and a minister of the gospel. She is married to Mark Mordi, a lawyer and cleric. An indigene of Edo State and a graduate of English Language, she also has a strong background in Secretarial Administration. In this interview with RONKE KEHINDE, she talks about her past, her ministry, her magazine and why she proudly announces herself as a Pastor’s wife with a difference.

You seem to have your hands in many pies. How did it all begin?

Yes, I do a great number of things. I am a publisher, a writer. I publish for other people and I’m a life coach and a Minister of the gospel. I have a background in English language and Secretarial Administration and Theology from Ekpoma; in those days it was called Bendel State University and I graduated in 1990. I did Secretarial Administration, those days with Lagoon, and then I attended The Redeemed Christian Bible College. I had a PGD in Theology in the year 2000. On a daily basis, I’m still learning; even right now I’m doing some courses online to make sure that whatever it is that I’m doing, I’m certified for it. So I’m in the process of getting certification for being a life coach. I was born 40 years ago. My father was a civil servant, he is retired now, and my mother is a business woman. I’m the first of six children, I have three brothers and two sisters, and they are all doing well. I’m from Edo State.

Can you share with us some of your childhood experiences?

The greatest part of my growing up years happened in Edo State and my father was a State Civil Servant, so we hovered around Edo State a lot. My parents were there, but my childhood was rough. For me it was rough, because my parents were not very skilled at recognizing the difference in children. I was the first child and too much was expected of me, and I had the tendency to want to be independent. My folks saw it as rebellion a lot, and that impacted upon me negatively. I was trying to look for things that will fulfill me and in that process I made a lot of mistakes. I went to places I ought not to have gone to. I related with people who added no value to me, that is because I was in the process of searching for who I was; but nobody could really tell me the person that I was. I graduated from the university at 20, and I didn’t do too well. If I could change anything that is what I’ll change. I won’t even change all the bad experiences that I went through while growing up. Why? Because I’m an extremely smart person, but I didn’t have all the guidance that I needed, so I was unable to apply myself properly; that reflected in the certificate that I have. But I have reasons above that, and I realised that the certificate does not define my person, and I have moved on and I have become everything that I have dreamed of, and there is still so much that I want to be and I’m working towards it. I wasn’t so much a Christian, I wasn’t born in church. My parents were catholic. It wasn’t a home where religion was of top priority, but I found my way eventually. Painful journey though.

How and when did you meet your husband?

I met my husband in church. I had just become a Christian and I just joined workers force and we were being trained to become workers and they told us we had to make at least 80 per cent of the attendance to be able to graduate from the class and here we had done over 70 per cent, and my husband joined the class. One Saturday in August 1996 was when I met him. It wasn’t a funny day for me because I was really upset. Incidentally I was the captain of the class. When I came in that day because I went out to do some work, I met him asking question in class. I felt he wasn’t going to graduate. I can be very forceful, so I went to our coordinator, who is also the Pastor in charge. I told him how could you admit someone into the class when we are already 70 per cent into the course. But he kept laughing, and he said Bidemi that is your husband. And I said: ‘This person, snub like him.’ Eventually we became friends, he’s still my friend, and it was easy to transit our friendship to marriage. We got married July 1997; we met August 1996.

What was the attraction for you?

I always knew when I became a Christian that whoever I was going to marry will be not just a Pastor but will have some calling. After we finished the workers in training course, we got married the next year. He just wanted more, so he attended the School of Prayer from there we joined the Bible College and we graduated. From that point his work as a pastor began. He wasn’t a full fledged pastor all these while, but they kept sending him to go and assist other pastors; then four years ago, he was given a parish of his own and became a pastor in charge of parish.

How has it been as a pastor’s wife?

If one wants to be a pastor’s wife, as a pastor’s wife is known, then it will become a tough job. But if you’re the pastor’s wife who is comfortable in her scheme, then it’s a very fulfilling job. When you see someone walks into church with a lot of struggles and few years later the person is graduating from school or eventually entered university, and you know you have had something to do with all of that, it just gives you joy. It’s a tough job because of all the financial commitment and sacrifices you would have to make, but in the end it will work for you. And I was always in ministry. I was in ministry before my husband got into the ministry. I’ve always known what ministry is like, and I just do what I can. I try not to take on what I can’t do. I don’t let people dictate for me what a pastor’s wife should look like. I don’t let them tell me what a pastor’s wife should wear. I don’t let them tell me where a pastor’s wife should go, because I’m first of all an individual, what I come to contribute is who I am and what I carry. Even as a pastor’s wife I am not a regular pastor’s wife, I’m different. I can assure you that I’m different.

What differentiates you from other pastor’s wives?

What differentiates me is that I am a pastor’s wife with a dream of my own. I’m a pastor’s wife to whom God has committed other things than the pastor’s wife’s job into her hands. I run a leadership ministry for young people. I run a ministry for women to teach them purpose, destiny and things like that. These things are not affiliated to church at all, it’s inter-denominational. I am a pastor’s wife who does the extra. And I have the callings to teach. I’m not the pastor’s wife who just does the cooking. I am one who stays behind the pulpit because I have the opportunity to share, given my childhood and all that I’ve gone through growing up. I went through all of that because God wants me to be useful.

What inspires you to do all that you’re doing?

A better life for all I’ve come in contact with. I respect knowledge a lot; I read a lot and I continuously trying to find out something new. And because I’m very adventurous, once I found out I call people to come and see. What gives me the drive is that I want to add value to people’s lives.

Tell us about your women ministry.

When I started as Christian, my husband was really easy to live with; we had our struggles because we were coming from separate background and it was difficult for us to blend, to become that one person. We struggled, we quarreled, we did all those things and I was looking for answer. In the process of looking for answers I went to older women who should know and I found out that a lot of women don’t know. They got married and they say okay I’m the wife, I’m the mother and that’s okay. I always knew that God created me for more than having children and sleeping with a man and cooking his meals. In the process of finding answers, I wasn’t getting any, so I went back to the word. I found out that God has a purpose for every woman, whether single, married, old, young, rich or poor. Every woman has a part to play. What I push across to women is that you can do it. If you look hard enough inside of you, you will find the things that God has called you to do. And if you push them you’ll be amazed at the result you’ll get. All I do whether through my writings or through my blog or through my coaching is trying to say to people that you can do it. If I can do it, you too can do it.

Due to your position in the church and your ministry you would have met with a lot of people, share with us some memorable moments while meeting with people?

Last July, I met someone who after reading ‘Effectual’ she sent me a text message saying ‘I’m going through a divorce right now, but it’s easier to go through divorce right now because I read your magazine. So I decided to speak with her. I called her when we were having our conference in July, I had her registered and come. My greatest memorable day for this year, she came here about eight weeks ago, when we were having a fellowship. She came to tell us that she had reconciled with her husband and she’s back at home. The man who had given her divorce sermon is withdrawing. The issue is not that because somebody’s marriage is broken and I did something about it. But the issue is someone was in a bad place and I was there for them. I didn’t do anything that someone has not done before. For me that’s one of such times. We hold feeding and clothing programmes almost every quarter. It gives me joy to be able to offload my wardrobe and see women come and take those things. There was a day I was feeling really bad, I was looking for money to print the magazine. I was driving from work and I saw these two children, one is about seven and the other is about 10. They were walking in front of me, and I knew something was familiar about them and I couldn’t see; when I passed them and I looked at them again, I saw that they were wearing clothes that I had brought. It dawned on me that these are the clothes of my children that I’ve offloaded the last welfare; and these children were feeling cool in them. At that moment, God told me that don’t you see you’re important and the things you do are important? And that gave me hope that it’s going to be well. It gave me hope that it was going to be okay, even though my most satisfying moment though is when I can stand somewhere and teach the word of God. For me, there is no high like it. I don’t know if there’s any drug that gives a high like when I have the opportunity to teach. I’m not talking about teaching a thousand, whether I’m teaching you, or two to 10 people, it gives me so much satisfaction. It is something that I can do everyday of my life and not be paid for and I’ll keep doing it.

If you look back what do you think you would have done differently if given another chance?

I would have applied myself more in University, because I had all it takes to make a 2:1 or even a first class. But I was too young, I got to the University at 16; it was the first time I was leaving my father’s house, and it just made a mess of the whole thing for me. If I could do it all over, I will go to school like 20 and I’ll apply myself more. Again it’s a plus for me not a minus; it’s the experience I’m using to help other people today. It’s the reason my son didn’t go to secondary school without doing primary six. It’s the reason why I will not send him to the UK for his University education if he didn’t do his first degree right here under my nose, when I can see him and fend for him. It just made me see that life can be whatever it is we desire for it to be.

I’ll like to re do that if given the opportunity but I don’t have a problem with that particular part of my life, its part of my learning process.

What are your plans for the future?

I can tell you what my plan is for 2011, because I like to slice them in bit so that I can make impact. I know that in 2011, Effectual will be in a lot more hands. I’ve always be doing life coaching but I just started it as a career. I want to dedicate more time to other part of my business and I’ll give to my community a whole lot more. In conjunction with my husband we are planning to do a soup kitchen. We want to be able to feed a hundred people every week without having to take money from church. A place where people can get a meal and a shoulder to cry on.

Out of everything you have done which one will you consider as a boldest step?

Publishing Effectual at the level I’m doing right now is a boldest step for me. I’m not exactly financially savvy, the same way that I’m running my home that I brought to bare running the company. We’ve run for two years God has been faithful, we are not owing salary.

As a minister if you are asked to prophesy into the life of women in Nigeria what will you say?

God is waiting for us to come out. The man that you marry is your cover but he is not your definition. God is waiting for women to manifest in this nation; He wants us to be strong business women. He wants us to be strong spiritual leaders. He wants us to be strong political leaders. Change will come when the women stand together. Women should stand together, form clubs where they’ll look out for one another, and you’ll see that the nation will move forward very fast. Women should arise, we can do it together.