Safeguarding Your Family From Infidelity And Polygamy
By ANUOM NNABUIKE
Polygamy, a kind of marriage in which a man marries more than one wife is gradually taking different forms.
It is an axiomatic fact that greater number of Nigerian married men with one wife at home are not truly practicing monogamy. A lot of them have one wife in their homes but with many concubines outside either known or concealed from their real wives. Many of them (married men) take solace in the fact that since their girl or lady friend(s) might not bear them children that she is not in any means a rival in their family and to their real wives. It is practically true that in so many ways, a man’s concubine or girlfriend sometimes compete greatly with his wife at home.
For a married man to be dating a young girl of his daughter’s age which is very common among some hard-hearted married men, he should be ready or willing to lavish his hard-earned income on her. Most men demean themselves, their wives and children before their rustic girl friends who have nothing to contribute positively to their lives, but to ruin their marriages.
The girl or lady would be so stiff-necked to milk the man dry since that is her ultimate goal. Some feeble minded men even succumb to run their homes in accordance to the dictates of their concubines or girl friend(s) outside at the detriment of that of their wives. When in a romantic state with a girl, some married men fervently ridicule their wives and confess abusively about them before their girl friend(s).
Young calous girls cunningly turn the mind of some married men away from their wives and sweet talk them into divorce so as to usurp the position of their wife. Unfortunately too, some men are not afraid these days of sexually transmitted diseases because they rely absolutely on the efficacy of Gold Circle which they may not know might disappoint them some times.
In situations such as this, the moment his wife notices this, the disgruntled and forlorn woman gradually develops hatred for the man, and her love for him suddenly metamorphoses into animosity. She starts to keep secrets from the man and takes decisions contrary to his. She forments trouble anytime the man is around at home and proves stubborn to him.
Concubinage can easily culminate into polygamy as the man might run out of luck and impregnate the girl. Having girl friends or engaging in concubinage by any married man can as well destroy his family and his prospect as he may fall victim to evil minded/possessed girls or ladies who are absolutely on assignment to batter the life of the men and their families.
Polygamy has more negative effect than its positive impact since it is true that immediately a man marries more than one wife his family becomes departmentalised. Despite his ingenuity, he cannot competently manage the two “homes” under his family roof peacefully and unitedly without frequent stand-off, quarrelling, hatred, jealousy, malice and backbiting. Polygamy breeds rivalry and conflicts between the wives of the man and their children. They always see themselves as competitors inspite of the man’s agitation for oneness and unity. The polygamist becomes psychologically distabilised as he battles tirelessly to no avail to cement and maintain his family relationship. He faces the challenges of satisfying the demands of his wives and their children adequately without partiality to ensure peace and tranquility in his family which to some extent is humanly impossible.
A man of many lofts (polygamist) endangers his life with early grave as women are extremely jealous of rivalry and they can dare any possible measure to eliminate any perceived rival. In course of trying to avert this misfortune from befalling his family, her life might be at stake. A polygamous man stands the chance of not enjoying adequately the fruit of his labour once lopsidedly, the children will definitely love their mother more than him. Even when the children have the desire to care for their father, their mothers may discourage them.
On their part, a considerable number of married women do not deem it fit to care and maintain themselves to look attractive to their husband. Their mode of dressing gets more tattered immediately after one or two issues. Whenever they walk close to their husband or any body else, repulsive odour exudes from their body. Their husbands get tired and bored, enduring her whenever he is aroused.
The man may not disclose this to his wife, but might be nursing the grudges which may push him to go outside sometimes. The most unfortunate thing to have befallen some married men is to be “knotted” to a woman who cannot cook well. Such men always go out to public places to eat, abandoning that of their wives. They admire any lady or girl outside who can cook very well and may decide to go for her as concubine just because of that ability in her to cook very well. Remember, food is one of the primary needs of man, so every woman should endeavour to learn how to cook delicious meals for her husband to prove her worth, even as good meals are the best and sure way to a man’s heart.