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What do Men really Want?
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{August 1, 2022}

How many men would say that they have exactly the life that they want?

So many men are in the position where they hold dead-end jobs that they hate, and they go home to frigid wives who could hardly care less about their needs or desires; and they have children who are disrespectful and who hate them simply because they are authority figures. Pity the poor man who has this kind of package.

On top of all that are the financial obligations that the poor guy is saddled with. A variable mortgage on a home that he could be required to leave if his wife decides that is in her own best interests, and the usual mountain of debt that most men face. At some point in time such men in these circumstances pause, take a deep breath and ask themselves how in the world did I end up in this trap?

There was a time when it all seemed to be such a good idea. He was in love with his beautiful girl, and all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted to live happily ever after. But things went wrong somewhere along the way. Neither he nor his wife is quite certain where or when, but it has led to this very uncomfortable place.

Now what?

He only did the right and honourable thing. After a suitable period of courtship their love led them to the next level, and he went willingly. When it came time to “church” her he did so gladly because it was so natural. All of his and her family expected it. If he had other ideas the attitude of both families would certainly have turned frosty toward him. He would have been an embarrassment to his own family, and would have soon faced the inevitable question from hers, “what are your intentions, young man?”

Such is tradition and custom in Western societies that we go through life as though we are objects drawn by magnets. We are drawn together, and then together we are drawn into the well-trod path of marriage and children and mortgage, and alas, divorce.

What is the driving force? In one word it is Love! The need to feel the real and genuine love of another human being that is manifested through support and encouragement from that one special person from whom those attributes mean everything. It simply is not possible to gain the depth of satisfaction necessary that we are all seeking from any other source.

Some people actually attain this level of success in their lives, and they seem to maintain it throughout. How do they manage to do so? I think that first it takes two people who are very determined and mature about what they want. They must surely have talked things through at the beginning so that there was no room for misunderstanding.

There must also be some extra glue that keeps it all together, and I think that this must be a mutual belief that contains a system of rules and guidelines, and a promised reward in the end. I am probably speaking of a religious faith to keep the partners on the straight and narrow. Especially in these times of liberal thought, couples need to gather their strength from somewhere.

So, enter Family Man! As he stops to take a snapshot of his life, he smiles in appreciation because he considers that he has it all. He has been married thirty years to the same woman, and they are happier today than when it all started. Their two children are well into their twenties and they are doing just fine.

The relationship between he and his wife is rock solid. He can see that a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but she has nothing that he needs because, in so far as he is concerned he already has the most beautiful woman in the world.

They have worked hard together to build a life. Perhaps they own their own home and they have a couple of cars, and most of the comforts of living in a modern society. He may love his job, or perhaps it’s only just a means to an end. If he gets no real satisfaction there he makes up for it by being involved in community and/or charity work.

This is a man fulfilled because all that he wants is to be appreciated by his neighbours and loved and respected by his family, the same family upon whom he gives of his own time and respect and love.

If you are such a man, you do indeed, have it all.
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