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why me?

Does your toast always seem to land butter side down? Why does your washing machine break down three days after the warranty end? Why do the birds target your window?

There are times when we all feel like this. It is as if someone has put a mark on our lives that sends all the bad luck our way.
Believing this can make us like victims. Unfortunately being in the victim mindset can cause thing to go wrong because we expect thing to go wrong, we behave in such a way that makes accidents and “bad luck” more likely to happen.

There are many reasons why people feel victims. In psychological terms, there are optimists and pessimists’ .the optimist tends to believe that things will go right. The pessimist believes that in general things will not go right.

This mindset not only affects our beliefs, it also affects the way we behave. People who are positive and optimistic tend to do things that are more likely to succeed. They do so in such a way that the chances of success are in their favour Obviously, pessimists tend to do the opposite. They expect things to go wrong and rather than make changes in how they do things .They carry on in exactly the same way and believe that when things go wrong it is their fate. “luck” is generally the same as anyone else’s. The main difference is that the pessimists tend to remember things that go wrong more often than things that go right.

Overall, people want to be lucky. Regretfully, luck is random. It happens to with no pattern and so cannot be bottled and sold. Accidents and coincidences just happen. They are by definition random events and cannot be predicted by fortune tellers, reading the runes or dissecting the entrails of animals

Because luck is a random event, no one can improve their luck. People can, however, improve their chances of a positive event coming their way. Being optimistic and positive tends to increase the likelihood of something good happening.

There is an aspect of life that should have a “government health warning”. Acting like a victim tends to attract persecutors. For example, if girl has been brought up in a family where her father was violent, there is a greater probability that she will marry a person who has the capacity for violence .This is not bad luck it is simply that the girl’s expectation of life has been changed and she believes that men behave like that.

There are also the people who invite misfortunes. They take chances that most of us would avoid they drive too close to other cars .Maybe they walk along dark streets at night. They have their house extension built by a man they met in a bar. These people increase the probability that things will go wrong in their lives

Many people believe that the future is already written and what happens to them is fate. This means that life is not in their control and they have no ability to change their lives in any way. These people probably do not ask the question “why me?” This is because whatever happens to them is their destiny.

There seem to be five different factors that may be present when people are lamenting over why the people are lamenting over why the world is against them.

The first is when people attempt to do things but do not plan well enough. The resuit is that their projects tend to fail and they can not understand why.

The second is where people leave too small a margin of error when doing thing. These people tend to have a series of minor mishaps and want to blame everyone in the world.

The third is where pessimistic people tend to notice the bad thing in their life rather than both bad and Good. By noticing mainly the bad things, it is quite easy to feel that things are always going wrong.

The fourth is where people invite problems by acting like a victim. It is unlikely that these people will ever change because they do not see how they behave. Sometime when an outsider brings to their attention, they become aware but this is unusual.

The fifth is where the person is simply having bad luck. These people should take heart bad luck and good luck is temporary. Provided these people do not lapse into the role of a victim, things change in time.

“Why does it always happen to me?” it is a common complaint and it usually refers to what they feel is their bad luck in life. The good news is that hypnotherapy or psychotherapy can improve the person’s planning help them take more care in their daily lives, and can remove old forms of behaviour that tend to make them victims. Unfortunately, no form of therapy can make people lucky.

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