{Benin City, Nigeria Local Time}
Bookmark and Share

Does Small Penis Size still Matter in Sexual Intimacy?, The Psychological Effects on Partners.

By Albert Opare

Sex is part of human life. If humans are to procreate, the only natural means is having sex. Again, human beings use sex for pleasure and men especially find it difficult leaving without sex. Our desire for sex especially for pleasure has led people to look for ways to maximize the pleasure from sex. Men almost always seem to achieve orgasm through sexual intercourse; however, the problem has been how to get women to achieve orgasm as often as men. Talk has been ongoing for a while both in academia and the media about the issue with people insinuating that the penis size of men affects the pleasure associated with sex.

This phenomenon beyond the talk of pleasure has also been known to stress out a lot of men, especially those who are less fortunate to be gifted with a less than usual penis size. It usually makes them think they cannot satisfy their partners and sometimes, may feel shy to be naked in front of their partners because of their penis size. This may pose problems for the relationships as their partner may feel they are not being opened enough.

According to Pappas (2012), the Journal of Sexual Medicine contrary to popular opinion has revealed that, “women who have frequent vaginal orgasms are more likely than other women to say they climax more easily with men with larger penises. Women who tend to prefer penile-vaginal intercourse over other types of sex also say the same”. That is to say, some women feel, the size of their partner’s penis has a direct influence in helping them achieve orgasm. Also, Lehmiller (2012), also shares this opinion and argues that, in a research involving 323 sexually active women 33.8% of those who reported having had more than one sexual partner reported that a longer penis makes them more likely to orgasm.

So at least for some women, the size of their partner’s penis does indeed matter. As more and more people become open about their sexuality and sexual preferences, the debate would further grow and several perspectives on the matter will come up. Also, for as long as there is the imbalance e of men achieving sexual orgasm more times than women, the anxiety of what leads to women enjoying sex and it being related to the penis will persist.

In spite of what women are saying according to the research, there are people who still hold the view that the size of the penis does not really matter. In his work on how women really feel about penis size, Castleman (2014), who confesses that some women have gone as far as calling him a ‘fool’ for suggesting penis size does not matter in sexual intimacy argues that, “Recently, researchers at UCLA and Cal State LA published a report showing that 84 percent of women feel “very satisfied” with their man’s penis size. Fourteen percent wish it were larger and 2 percent would prefer smaller”. He further states that, although it is true size matters in sexual intimacy, it only matters to some women, because according to him, women would prefer partners who are caring, warm and solvent.

Men are very egoistic people and thus a man with a less than usual penis size will naturally be emotionally hurt and traumatized with such penis size. In a world where men rely on their height, their masculinity and hardness to woo women, it may be quite painful for a man who has a less than usual penis size to accept himself and have the confidence needed to engage women sexually. Such men may thus tend to perform poorly in bed as their confidence may already be crashed even before sexual intimacy. They may also be put off altogether from making sexual advances to women even if they desire it.

According to Schwartz (2008), “a review of the literature on the topic of men and penile size and length reveals the fact that, it is normal for men to under estimate the size of their genitals. This is so much so, that some medical experts believe that it is not psychologically abnormal for a male to believe that they have a small penis”. Thus even when men don’t have small penises, they may be inclined to believing they have small penises. According to him, men and especially adolescent boys tend to make unhealthy comparisons between themselves and other men without taking cognizance of the fact that we all grow and mature in different ways and in as much the same way we have different hairs, and grow facial hair at different times, our penis sizes may develop at different rates. Also, a man looking down at his genitals, from an upright position may have a wrong calculation of their actual penis size. This means that the mere fact that men think of the size of their penis means that there is a psychological toll placed on those who are less endowed.

In his article on ‘Penis Envy: How Size Influences Self-Esteem’, Siegel (2013) for example argues that, there isn’t a man who hasn’t compared the size of his penis to other men in the locker room or at the urinal, a sizing-up that leads to either a prideful smile or a sense of inadequacy. It’s the shame, that’s coined a catch phrase: “I’m a grower, not a shower.” He further argues that, “The center of a man’s existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his partners”. That is a man’s penis size does have psychological effects on his relationship with his partner as well as his self esteem. His thoughts on his ability to satisfy his partner is also influenced significantly which may hurt their relationship as the man may be less inclined to engage in sexual intercourse with his partner.

Siegel goes on to posit that most insecurity in relationships may also be down to penis size. According to him, his daughter who happens to be a psychotherapist revealed that, from her sessions with men on the matter, “Most men fear that that they will not be able to attract and keep a mate. Will she will fantasize about another man and leave me for someone better endowed?”

From the literature and research therefore, even if not all women are concerned about the size of their partner’s penis, there is a significant amount of women out there who believe the size of their partner’s penis will give them more sexual pleasure or less pleasure if it’s big or small respectively. Also men are usually more affected by their penis sizes more than their female partners. Men with small penis sizes than the average usually have a low self esteem. This has the potency to affect their performance in real sexual intercourse as they may lack the confidence to maintain an erection because of their thought being focused on the size of the penis.

The solution to this problem may lie in seeking professional help. If men who feel less secure about the size of their genitals are made to understand that what constitutes a normal penis is nothing more than fourteen centimeters long and that the size of the penis when erect and the size of the penis when in a relaxed mode is different, they may be less inclined to feel shy about the size of their penises. Also, if men are made to understand not all women really place a great emphasis on penis size and that some women are okay with having an emotional and romantic relationship with sexual pleasure from size being a bonus, they are less inclined to let their penis size affect their sexual performance.

Research also points to the fact that some women have never had orgasm before irrespective of the size of their partner’s penis, and thus men coming into this knowledge may be less inclined to blame their partner’s inability to orgasm on themselves.

Castleman, Michael. (2014). How Women REALLY Feel About Penis Size. Retrieved 16th October, 2015. From


Lehmiller, Justin (2012). Does Penis Size Actually Affect Female Sexual Pleasure? Retrieved 16th October, 2015. From


Pappas, Stephanie. (2012). Penis Size Matters in Bed, Study Finds. Retrieved 16th October, 2015. From


Schwartz Allan. (2008).Male Self Concept And Small Penis Syndrome. Retrieved 16th October, 2015. From


Siegel, Stanley (2012). Penis Envy: How Size Influences Self-Esteem. Retrieved 16th October, 2015. From http://psychologytomorrowmagazine.com/penis-envy-the-truth-about-how-we-feel-about-penises/

Comment Box is loading comments...
Edo Royalty Photos